How to Train Your Boyfriend (to ride bikes with you)

Dear Boyfriend/Pard’ner/Husband/Wife/SO:
 
That’s great that you want to ride together. Here are the rules:

 

  1. Stay on my rear wheel.  
  2. Unless you are too close, then back off, you are crowding me and making me feel slow!
  3. Go on ahead of me, I’m having a day where I want to chill in the back and enjoy some solo time. See ya up there!
  4. Treat me like a competent cyclist but feel free to offer help if I have a mechanical. For example, be mindful of when I’m putting a tube in and can’t stretch the tire around the rim. If my knuckles are bleeding then I need help.
  5. Bring extra snacks. This includes energy bars, peanut m & m’s, smoked salmon, coke (not diet), snickers bars, oranges, a post-ride protein shake and treats for my dog.  Surprise me (hint: dark chocolate).
  6. Don’t forget to put lots of honey in the hot tea that you’ll be sharing when mine is gone. 
  7. Don’t yell “way to go” when I clean the EXACT same obstacle that you did just a second ago. Hello, it’s 2021, girls can shred too.
  8. Remember to say “way to go” when I do something rad.
  9. Follow the line-of-sight rule if you are riding ahead of me.  
  10. Stop at trail junctions so that I know where you are because I might get hungry.
  11. Don’t follow the line-of-sight rule or stop at trail junctions because it will make me feel slow and inferior if you are constantly waiting on me!  Geez, get a grip!
  12. Don’t ride your single speed when I am riding my geared bike, see “feels inferior” above.
  13. You can tell me that I’m a bad-ass but I already know.

 

Naturally, this is all tongue in cheek because I am generally well-prepared but I’m lucky to have a guy that looks out for me.

Special note to that guy: 

Thanks babe for keeping it real and fun. Thanks for all the fires that keep us warm and for your patience when I’ve run out.  Thanks for pushing your bike beside mine through all of those miles of soft snow on whatever harebrained scheme I’ve hatched. Thanks for getting lost with me. Thanks for retrieving my phone from the bottom of a cliff and from a snow drift. Thanks for being chill and knowing that sometimes I want to pound it out and sometimes I want to smell the roses.  Thanks for cranking my favorite classic country tunes on your little speaker.  Thanks for massaging out my cramps mid-race. Thanks for telling me that I look hot in my kit. You are the best trail partner a fat bike girl could ask for, besides Daisy.

 Xo Dirt Girl, your Single Speed Sagebrush Queen

Studd Pyles and Dirt Girl parked in front of the Ice Bar at the Fat Bike World Championships in Bondurant, WY

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